The First Day

The first day back for work, I was driving with tearing. I just don't want to back there but I have to. I just like a dead body or a ghost while my body was at the office but my spirit was somewhere ....

I was struggling for happying myself, trying so hard ignoring what I really feel. I am bleeding tired for doing this. I just want to stay at home and being a happy house wife and a happy mother.

I wish I could ....

Counting days

Counting days of going for works about the 2nd week of August 2015, I have been starting headache and get gastritis. The thing that I can't deny. I just don't want to be there anymore, at all, but I have to.

I know it won't kill me ....
It just will make me dying ....

Astaghfirullahaladzim ....
Astaghfirullahaladzim ....
Astaghfirullahaladzim ....